18 March

Its time to put down, forget, let go and move on.

Sorry for the late posting again.

Missed gym session today as the gym wasn't open on the 18th of March (I forgot and I made an u-turn home).

Went to Aces in the evening and its really really long since I last drank. There are too many things for me to stress about, I don't know what to do and I know I can't solve any problem by drinking.

After Aces, I went to Godfather with my other group of friends and we opened a total of 4 bottles. Its acutally 3 bottles but the promotion is 'buy 3 get 1 free'. So ya. So what happened there. They serve the fruits, tibits and bottles and they wanted me to drink 3 glasses (rock glass) first before I can drink 'slowly'. WHY? Because they say I was unhappy. 'House Rule'

After that, they chose their girls but I didn't want to and I insisted not to and I didn't get one. So the waiters came in to 'jio' me drink, and i drank like 'one mad dog'. Its like 8 months since I last drank? After the waiters left, I was sitting there alone, listening to music and my 3 friends were like petting heavily, having fun. I didn't want to stay any longer as an 'extra' and a 'loser'. Why loser? In my friends eyes, never call girls = loser. What a friends are they?

I left, went to Ahbi's house to dwell and I'm going to the market to eat now. Oh ya, and the taxi driver said, tomorrow will be a better day for me.

Cheers Good Night.

Edited Part

Its 5.11am now, I just came back from my supper with Zheng and Zhan. Chatted for very long and ya. I thought I'll be screw when I reach home cause I had forgotten to bring my keys out but lucky my Grandma didn't scold me, she only told me not to wash my hair cause its late already. I didn't listen to her. HAHA.

I like this song.

Hey Jude
(Lennon-McCartney)

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey, Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better.

And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

Hey, Jude! Don't let her down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember, to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey, Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude,
You'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

(Edited Part 2)

I couldn't sleep, I have been lying on the bed for the past 1 hour or so and I can't seem to fall asleep. Its killing me, wearing me off and I'm not able to stop thinking about it. I alway thought it was a dream come through, even though there were alway misunderstanding, quarrels and stuff but I didn't know it will turn out so badly.

The sky is getting brighter and brighter and I detest this feeling. I want to fall asleep, but I can't. Its like about 9 months since I last went to MOS, I guess, 9 months? And I remember I was still at CQ at this hour, maybe in the cab. Ya?

Maybe I just got to forget and move on. Its killing me, someone help me out please!

(Edited Part 3)

I guess I'll be a living zombie soon before long. I tried to sleep at 6am and I didn't fell asleep and I got up at 7am. After 10 minutes, I made myself to sleep again but I can't. When I closed my eyes, all the really bad memories flashed in my brain again. Its like history is repeating again. I think I dozed off at around 10am plus and I got a really really ultra extra sweet dream.

That someone told me, please want me back to fill up your missing button and that someone also bombarded me with tons and tons of sweet messages.

Its such a torture after waking up and coming to sense that it wasn't real. Its a torture, I'll keep myself occupied so that it won't be so torturing.

(Edited Part 4)

Met Yizhan and Ahgao for lunch and I only ate 1/4 plate of my food. I just had that plate of rice for the whole day and I can't seem to eat anything even though I'm hungry. Accompanied them to Simei to appeal for school and we took a cab down to Tpy again. Met the rest at Safra, Me, Yizhan, Ahgao, Ahbi, Gouzheng, Ahguan, Samual and Ron. Played snooker and we took a cab down to Kallang Leisure Park.

Went to eat Japanese food, arcades and wanted to ice stake but they didn't want. Bowling was full house so, everyone went off in separate groups.

I may seem to be fully occupied today but I wasn't enjoying myself at all. Every place I went, I see those foot prints. I was with them the whole day but my heart wasn't there. I just need a sunshine.